Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Chub Club


Ok blogworld - I'm officially making it officially official and public. I'M GONNA LOSE WEIGHT. In fact, I'm gonna lose weight while belonging to a group called the Chub Club (and still Jazzercising, of course). If you wanna lose weight too (and live locally) let me know. Below is the invitation I am sending out to friends:

Please do not take offense to this note/invitation, as that is absolutely NOT my intent! In fact, you should feel honored that we think you are cool enough to potentially join our VERY exclusive club (I totally felt like I was 10 years old again just now). I am inviting you because I know you're a mom and not many of us are thrilled with what that has done to our bodies!

For about the 10th time in 3 years, I’ve decided I need to lose about 25 pounds before February. I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do about it. I can’t be anorexic because I love food. I can’t be bulimic because I hate throwing up and I can’t get addicted to meth because I like my hair and don’t want to be a picker. So I decided to go the more boring route and I considered joining Weight Watchers (again) BUT I really don’t want to pay $10/week to go listen to a boring meeting. I have already purchased all their gear (cookbooks, point calculators, scales, etc.) so then I thought maybe I’d just go it alone – Kamikaze-style. Then reality struck and I remembered that I am a total self-sabotage-r! I know myself well enough to know that about once a week I’ll have a bad day and eat an entire cake. I actually NEED the weekly meeting and another pair of eyes checking the scale because I let myself off the hook too easily! I NEED accountability!

So I borrowed an idea from my mother-in-law and put my own twist on it. It’s called the Chub Club and we’d like you to be part of it with us. Now you may be asking, what the heck is the Chub Club and who the heck is "us"? The Chub Club is an "exclusive" accountability group. We are going to meet once a week and be accountable to each other. I am hosting this with Michelle and Sarah (who are both also trying to lose extra funnel cakes from their mid sections). We will meet a Sarah’s house, so it’s the same scale every week, on Fridays at 9:30 am beginning September 11. During the first week, we will do our initial weigh in so there won’t be any money leaving any pockets that day (see below). We will also set the “official” ground rules. They will be something like this:

1.) If you have gained weight during the week, you will pay $1 for each pound gained (we’re not doing ounces because I think that’s goofy and seriously, who says “I weigh 142 pounds and 7.5 ounces anyway?). Whoever loses the most weight that week wins the pot! We only pay money if we GAIN weight, instead of paying every week to go to some other meeting with people who don’t love and adore us as much as we do each other. AND this way we are incentivized by money instead of chocolate! It’s a win-win-win, right?
2.) If you skip a week (not planned in advance) there will be a monetary penalty
3.) Those who disclose the current weight or goal weight of other members will “pay” dearly (probably be on the receiving end of a swirly or something totally embarrassing like that)
4.) Crying will also be monetarily penalized (ok, maybe not but we’ll see)
5.) If the meeting lasts for more than 1/2 hour, Adrienne's head will explode because she hates meetings and has other crap to do on Fridays anyway (as I'm sure do all of you!)

If you want to join us (and we hope you do and I haven’t made you mad enough to spit just by inviting you) please let me know! You can use whatever kind of eating plan you want (does not have to be Weight Watchers) or you can go Helter Skelter and not have a plan. We are only getting together to be accountable to one another, to bask in each others' glory, to share tips and tricks we may have learned and to not take ourselves too seriously!

Oh, and if you commit to join our Chub Club, we need you to commit to being there EVERY WEEK. Otherwise, we may just skip the weeks we know we consumed half the carton of Haagen-Dazs and that won’t be fair to those ladies that have been angels.

Side Note: If you don’t want to lose at least 15 pounds, please disregard this message and consider yourself uninvited, as we consider you a skinny-mini and this is the Chub Club.

Hope to hear from you soon! We won't think too poorly of you if you're a skinny-mini (since we will be soon too!).

Hoping my boobs aren't the first to go,

Adrienne
on behalf of Michelle & Sarah & Myself

3 comments:

Liz said...

Man, I wish I lived closer because I would totally join your totally awesome club!

Zane, Fallon,Taden,Damian and ? said...

sounds awesome, i wish you the best!! you can do it!!!!

Sarah said...

Sounds like fun. Good luck!