Saturday, September 13, 2008

Thieves Among Us!

I'm sure you've all heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, here's my story.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again!

My nice flat tummy was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new gut with the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new gut was attached at least 3 inches lower than my original. I realized that I'd have to give up jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago, I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arms swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! Those "plastic" surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something "lifted", look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX! This is happening to women everywhere, every night!


P.S. Last year I thought some one had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them tucked in my waistband for safekeeping!

Water World

I know I'm a day late and dollar short with this post, but hey, at least I'm getting to it within a month! For Grandma Cheryl's big 5-0 birthday, we all went to Water World. It is her birthday tradition to go to Elitche's every year. However, this year, Elitches was closed because of a private party (jerks). So we opted for Water World. It was a blast, but I had forgotten about all those ridiculous hills. AND you have to drag your own darned tube up those stinkin' hills! Even with all the Jazzercising I did this summer, I was exhausted by day end! I pretty much hung out with Delaney & Corbin all day doing the "little people" rides. Although we had fun anyway! We all went on the Voyage to the Center of the Earth ride. Then split up so the big kids could ride the scary stuff and the smaller kids could ride the less scary stuff.

Since, surprisingly, there is a lot of water at Water World, I didn't take my camera with me on very many of the rides, so the pictures are fairly lacking to document the experience. However, here are the few shots I got...

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Corbin's First Day of Kindergarten!

Woo-Hoo! Corbin had his first day of kindergarten today! We are all so excited! He is "finally" in the "big kid" school! We LOVE his K teacher, Mrs. Bennett and I know he will have a great year. He looked so grown up and handsome with his Justice League backpack & Spiderman lunch box. We took some shots of him out in the hall by his frog.

We shot him by the story time fire place.

Then we got a picture of him at his "desk".

And finally a picture of his "locker". What a good looking kindergartener! Those little 5 year old girls better watch out! He's a heart breaker!

The Blessed First Day of School!

I love my children. A lot! However, they have been out of school since April 27th (because of the move). Needless to say, we were pretty tired of each other and the last few weeks have been rather torturous. Tuesday was Cole's & Cade's first day of school! They were excited, I was was all good!

The boys go to a school with a dress code uniform, but you can't really tell with their sweatshirts covering them up (it's getting cold in the morning already). I think they look so handsome in their uniforms!

The only bummer about school starting up is that I am making a 45 minute commute to take them to the school we LOVE since we are still living temporarily in another city. Our day begins with a 5:30 am alarm and we are done with chores and getting ready and out the door by 6:45 am. We all know it is worth it and the boys are thrilled to be back with all of their friends and I am thrilled that I can drop them off every day knowing they are in competent hands and will actually learn something! Yay for a great charter school!

Dove Hunting

Ok, so clearly this is not my area of expertise, but it is a part of our lives, so I am blogging it. On Labor Day, Clint & Grandpa Jay took the boys out for the first day of dove hunting season. They shot 9 (no way do I let my boys have a shotgun yet...they just retrieve at this point and shoot a pellet gun). Anyhow, they had fun and even helped Clint clean them!